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Forget Comparing Yourself. Try This Instead.

Seventy-nine percent of women admit to struggling with their self-esteem. As we grow into young women, the question of who we are and how we plan to present this to the world becomes louder and louder. Instead of asking ourselves what we want, we become who we think we should be. We do what we think society, men, and our families will approve of. Often, we think the authentic version of that ourselves will be rejected as if there is no space in this world for the kind of individual we aspire to be.

This leaves so many gaps for insecurity and feeling unworthy. Especially when we see another woman receiving the attention and admiration we feel we deserve. You feel threatened, possibly even annoyed by this.

This is where you start comparing yourself to her. Her looks, her status, her personality, everything. You study her to find out why she gets the attention you long for. You’re jealous. While you’re worried about her, notice how she pays no mind to you or to any other woman. She is doing what works for her, she’s worried about herself. Instead of viewing her as a threat, you can learn a lot from her.

She is defining what success and beauty look like for her and flaunting it unapologetically. Don’t you think you should do the same? Find what makes you feel beautiful and passionate. Determine what makes you so unique without considering other people’s interpretations. Through this, you find other personalities who complement you and encourage you to grow. You will find people to teach and also to learn from; there will be people surrounding you who will appreciate every fiber of your being simply because you are authentic. You can be conservative or promiscuous, loud or quiet, it doesn’t matter. Your clique is out there looking for you. You are doing them a disservice by trying to fit into a lifestyle that was not meant for you.

The only time we compare ourselves is when we see another woman living life to the fullest and wonder why we cannot do the same. If you are always doing your best, no one can be better or more attractive than you, there’s no competition. It is simply two women thriving in different ways. There is no more room in our lives to feel insecure. We see so many women around the world make names for themselves, improve countries, and have inspired other young women to do the same. Personalities that seem to clash can immensely complement one another if you let it. You deserve to feel beautiful in your own skin and reclaim your femininity with the help of other women. Let’s stand together, not against each other.

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